I sipped my frozen pumpkin pie latte slowly… while reading over the same chapter of Danny Silk’s “Culture of Honor” for about the third time. At this rate, this book won’t make it back to the friend who loaned it any time soon. I think she’s ok with that. Continue reading
Elley’s Story
I love stories. My two favorite questions to ask people are, “What is your story?” and “What are your dreams?” While I was in Thailand, I asked everyone I could these two questions. I loved hearing their answers and I honored the courage it took to share.
When I came home, I wondered how the answers would vary between the LGTB community in Thailand and here. So one warm February day, I sat down with a family friend, Elley, and over a cup of Dazbog, she shared her story:
When I was 8 my family moved to Jordan. Shortly after that, I began to be sexually abused by several men. Some of them I knew. Some I didn’t. Around that time, my home life went downhill. My parents were arguing all the time and I didn’t feel like I could turn to them, so I turned to other people for comfort. I grew up really quickly, but I like where I’m at now. One day, I vaguely told my mom was was going on. She apologized and that was it. Later I found out that my dad had confronted and threatened one of the guys who was abusing me, but it didn’t change anything. When I was 11, I stopped hanging out with the guys and that was finally when it stopped. But I didn’t have anyone then, so I started cutting.
The Impact of Missions: I am a Lover
“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”
– Nelson Mandela, South African Statesman
Saturday, December 11, 2010. It was first Saturday night back from Thailand and I went to church, as usual. I was excited to worship again with my home church and to fellowship with friends.
The Impact of Missions: The Saints Were Home Before We Started
“Missions doesn’t change them as much as it changes you,” Jeremiah told me over a cup of Higher Grounds coffee one cold day in January a couple of years ago. I wasn’t convinced. I went to Thailand with lofty dreams of changing the nation, or at least the city of Pattaya, one life at a time. I expected that Jesus would use me to make a big impact on them.
And He did. Tourists encountered Jesus. Ladyboys were loved into a place of greater wholeness. Children were kissed and cuddled and affirmed in their identity. Prostitutes met Grace. My life got wrecked.
December 2010 Update
Click here to read my December 2010 update.
And have an amazing Christmas!
Questions of the Heart
I was realizing while looking back over my blog how little of the journey I actually shared. God was “perfect, very incredible,” as my friends in Thailand say, and carried me in ways I didn’t know He could through the good, the bad, the ugly. In the middle of the journey, when I was so close to simply giving up and saying it wasn’t worth it, all I had to give were questions:
Why am I here?
Why can’t I give up my dreams?
Why does “why” seem to get me nowhere here?
Home…
Memories flooded me as I walked into the guest house by the city wall in Chiang Mai last night… Memories of a feast on fried bugs and exotic fruit on a wooden floor. Memories of banana pancakes that have left my mouth watering for years. Memories of night markets, treks into villages, and Thai friends. Memories of getting lost and wandering into the red light district, and running away scared. Eight years ago, this place was home base for the two months in which I fell in love with Thailand. Much has changed. I no longer choose to eat fried bugs, unless I must. The pancakes aren’t as good as I remembered. And now I wander into the red light districts intentionally to find my friends. My heart is no longer in the North, it seems but with former bar girls, ladyboys, and break dancers in Pattaya. As I wandered the streets this morning, I was reminded that my heart is with my friends. Where I have friends, there my heart is… for my friends are my treasures. My heart aches to be with them again. I know He will bring me home soon… Home is now with these broken ones. They have become brothers and sisters. So much more than friends.
In a few short days I will head to a different home… a home where the brokenness looks different, where dreams lay shattered on different ground… a home with snow and Christmas and family and friends. A home I have missed so much in being here. I can’t wait to see you all and connect, for you are my treasures, too.
xx
A Thai Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope it was a wonderful celebration of the goodness of God in your lives!
Here’s a little synopsis of my first-ever Thai Thanksgiving:
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
High: 91° F
Low: 75° F
Wind: From NE at 7mph
The day was full of friends, fellowship, worship, sharing about God’s faithfulness, and food! I’m so blessed that my Thai friends have a thankful heart. It’s beautiful to watch them worship God and thank Him for His many blessings.
This year I am thankful for the ways in which He has moved during my time in Thailand. I’m also thankful for you! You’re such a part of the journey here. Thanks for giving your lives to love well. May God’s abundant blessings overtake you! Love!
The Glad Worker
Joy is prayer – Joy is strength – Joy is love – Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
~ Mother Teresa ~
During the last couple of weeks, Jesus has been challenging me in the area of having joy. It started one day when He told me to repent for not being a happy christian. It seemed a little odd at first. It made me feel like happiness was something I should always possess, or that I couldn’t be real with how I was feeling. But he prompted me to see that the Joy that is our strength and is the fruit of His Spirit isn’t somber, but full of cheer. Continue reading
November Update – Pattaya Praise!
Hey so here’s a little update about some of the most lovely moments of Pattaya Praise. November 2010.
And if you want more pictures, you can look at this video.
Baldwin Family 